


you probably wouldn't have seen me

by CEO_of_TOES



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Character Study, Death, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sad, all my titles are either something in latin or a phrase from a song, inspired by 'the bakery', the matt x mello is one sided, this is Matt centric, where are my braincells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:07:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26446819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CEO_of_TOES/pseuds/CEO_of_TOES
Summary: Mello befriended Matt because he was the third, Mello couldn't love him because he was third.This is ispired bythis amazing song
Relationships: Matt | Mail Jeevas & Near | Nate River, Matt | Mail Jeevas/Mello | Mihael Keehl, Mello | Mihael Keehl/Near | Nate River
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	you probably wouldn't have seen me

Mail Jeevas is born on the first of February ,in a nice and loving family, not that he has any memories of them. He isn’t very sad about them not being anymore, but he has already learnt how to deal with the loss of people that once were so dear to him once , but abandoned him, so no big deal, right?

\---

The records of what his life was before becoming orphan weren’t hard to find, so he knew that his mother was a famous doctor, a brain surgeon. She was fierce and kind, when Mail would feel sad about missing her she would search some articles about the good she did, she was also a philanthropist ,in general a very good person.  
His dad was a substitute teacher ,but he mostly was the house-husband ,he did the shopping and he cleaned the house, the two fell in love at a young age ,if they wouldn’t have died they would have most likely spent all their life together.  
Most likely they were also good at being parents and not only at their jobs.

\---

He is six when he goes to have an ice cream with his parents, the adults get shot.  
There is no real motivation other than the desire to have money from the rich family from the killer. They woud have no problem with handling the money, but small Matt screams out of fear and the thief becomes a killer and shoots his parents, leaving only the child alive.  
(Mail never forgets how that was his fault)

\---

From the age of six to seven he spends his time in random orphanages, he was a kid that looked pretty sickish , no aunt or relative cared much about the thought of taking the small child.  
If before he was quiet and reserved he fell deeply into the hole of sadness, no family wanted him.

\---

He was pretty exceptional in a lot of subject, he learnt extremely fast and there was no math problem that he would fail, with the discovery of his talent an old man came to his orphanage and promised him a nice future.  
He didn’t refuse.

\---

He wasn’t Mail anymore, he became Matt or bewetter said M.

\---

The new orphanage wasn’t a regular one, he was training to become the new L, the detective.  
He didn’t really care about that, there were many other candidates that would have suited the role better, like A and BB, even if BB would scared him, sometimes he had some sprouts of …madness? But Matt was too young to care about detective stuff.

\---

He started enjoying hacking computer, understanding people was hard, but hacking a computer gave him the chance to understand people thanks to the profile and the archives that gave him all the information he desired.  
(he wondered how much of what he read was faked by Roger when he became aware of his interest in getting to personal files)

\---

Three years passed when A killed herself BB actually became crazy. To make up with the missing places two new kids arrived.  
They were Mello and Near. The two installed a (one sided) rivalry ,Mello couldn’t stand being second to the weird kid ,but he would still follow number one around and would think about his pale features all the time.

\---

Matt and the second one became friends. The red head was really proud of being the only one that could make jokes about the way Mello was pretty much thinking about Near costantly. He would say that it was just a competitin, but no amount of ‘no homo’ could change the way Mello’s eyes would always search for the smaller boy in every room he would enter.  
(the same could be said for Matt, he did the same with Mello, when the other wasn’t looking) (or at least he thought so)

\---

Matt would follow number two like a lost puppy, Mello didn’t really care .He had no friends out side of the guy that kept following him and that ‘rivalry’ that persisted .Number three was also relatively funny and didn’t care too much about anything, contrastating the other's personality.  
Mello would ignore how interested the red head seemed to be about all the dumb things the blonde would randomly rant about, from the weather outside to social Darwinism .Mello pretended that he didn’t see the heart eyes that Matt would have everytime the conversation would be about something else other than Near. (number three wasn’t jealous.. he was just a very good friend)

\---

Matt was the one that gave Mello the first chocolate bar, yet he never got a thanks. (he didn’t care about that, the thought of appearing to the blonde's mind every time he ate the food was enough)

\---

As they got older Mello felt very interested in human reactions related to love, so he would kiss Matt, to learn he said. Was it a lie? He didn’t care, he enjoyed those kisses more than anything else.  
One day he saw his dear ‘friend’ going to the common room at a very weird hour, nobody was supposed to be there at that hour, so he decided that he could miss a few minutes of sleep and followed him. What he found made him realise that he was in love and jealous ,he saw the two ‘enemies’ kissing.   
He didn’t watch the scene for too long and went to his room. (maybe he also cried a little)

\---

The day after the enemies didn’t act any different ,but he realised that the red head was so focused on sending secret glances to Mello that he didn’t realise that the even number one was doing the same.

\---

He tried to distance himself from number two, but it wasn’t that easy, the blonde understood that there was something wrong, as much as he was number two he couldn’t figure it out, so it went like this distance for a few days. (and weeks)

\---

In those days of distance Matt aced all the tests, he did better than Near himself. He wasn’t third because he wasn’t good, he was third because he didn’t care about being good.  
(still he hoped that Mello would obsess over him like he did with Near for being in the first place, and maybe make Near the one that had to be the ‘guinea pig’ that was just a friend to the blonde)

\---

One day ,while Matt was still angry, number two and one were called to Roger’s office. L had died, by the hands of Kira before ever going to choose a successor. As much as Mello loved Near they were still enemies, the fact that they had some feelings for the other was a lie that shouldn’t get on their way so Mello decided to go on his own, to start a new life.

\---

(he didn’t expect that his new life was going to be with the mafia)

\---

Near and Matt had never spoken much, but both missed Mello so sometimes they would be in the other’s room, no words shared, because none were needed.

\---

Near left as well, it was time to avenge L , he had prepared an group of very talented agents to help him.

\---

Matt moved on with his life and also moved out at the age of eighteen , what he wasn’t expecting was his best friend, who he hadn’t spoken for years , to be in front of his door asking to help him after his base exploded. The red head was mature and really wanted to refuse to help him, but his friend was in such bad shape… maybe this time he was going to be his number one.

\---

Mello met Near at his base with a gun pointed at Halle’s head and stated that they were on a race, only the best would be the first to the finish line.   
The night Near sneaked out and him and Mello had some fun time, N hoped that it wouldn’t be the last time this could happen.

\---

Sadly it was ,Matt also died for his friend’s plan to kidnap Takada. He knew that it was a suicide mission, but didn’t care, maybe Mello would have died thinking of him.

\---

Mail Jeevas died at eight years old, Matt died the 26 of January with his friend, Mello. At their funeral came only Near, Linda, Rester and Halle. Matt would have felt sad about his lonely death, but he was buried next the one that he loved, and it was a little lighter for the now corpse.

\---

Near would visit them year after year, the funny thought how Mello befriended Matt because he was the third, but would have never loved him because he was the third. Some things went to the grave with them, maybe it was better this way.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no excuse for this, i just felt angsty.
> 
> my death note side blog


End file.
